Remember the Burger King commercials touting the right to “have it your way” ?
I think about that campaign and how it reflects the belief we tend to have in overall life. Especially in a country and culture where we have access and the ability for just about every opportunity under the sun, we can’t help but believe that we have every right to have things “all about me.”
Well, sure. You can believe that. I won’t argue with that for a second.
It’s your life and this is a free country, so yeah, you have every right to lean on those taglines that tell you that self-absorption leads to happiness.
(Are you feeling a little sarcasm there? I’m obviously laying it on a little thick. ;) )
I know you keep coming back here because I keep it real with you, and that isn’t stopping today, my friend.
The truth is, every time we believe the idea that things need to be (or should be) all about ourselves, we are falling into a trap of misery.
Sure, we’re told that’s the way to the good life, but – then again – we know we can’t believe everything we’re told.
The fact is, such a heavy focus on ourselves is at the root so much anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and a whole host of other not-awesome stuff.
Sidenote: If you’ve ever been around self-absorbed people, you know what a *treat* they are, don’t you?! Back in the day, before the Love of My Life came around, I had a boyfriend like that – and boy am I grateful I listened to my momma and ditched him! ;) Yall! Listen to your momma!
…K, back to our regularly scheduled programming…
So if insisting on self-focus and having it our way isn’t working, what will?
So glad you asked!
I have to say this: of course you have to take care of yourself, so don’t misunderstand the point here. Like putting your oxygen mask on first so you can help others better, that’s necessary in life.
But it isn’t “either/or.”
It isn’t “either I take care of others OR I take care of myself.”
Those are limiting beliefs lies we’ve been sold and bought into way too much.
Instead, it’s “both/and.”
It’s the dance of taking care of yourself SO THAT you can care well for others.
Now that we have that whole argument settled, let me get to the easiest way to get happier RIGHT NOW –
Research shows that, while self care is helpful, and so is good, positive thoughts about others… the QUICKEST way to get that hit of happy you’re looking for is to DO SOMETHING GOOD IN SERVICE OF SOMEONE ELSE.
Beyond self.
Beyond thinking good thoughts.
DO something.
Take action to help others.
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That’s it, folks.
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I know it sounds overly simple.
It really is simple.
But then I have to ask myself how much good it would do for a large amount of our population if they would actually do the thing.
- Scrap selling your soul on the internet.
- Forsake comparing your reality to other people’s curated life on instagram or TikTok or whatever the rage of the day is.
- Stop looking in the mirror to see if you measure up to the moving target of “enough.”
Instead, start looking into the eyes of other humans and see how you can simply show up for them. Help them. Be there for them.
I can’t help but think that The Golden Rule has been hiding the key to happiness all along:
“Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” (Luke 6:31)
Don’t overthink this, guys.
Keep it simple.
What can you do RIGHT NOW in service of someone else?
Pour a cup of coffee? Take care of a shopping cart? Run to the store for them? Write a thank you note for the mail carrier and put it in the mailbox? … Simple.
Simple.
Of course there are always bigger things you might be able to take on, but for the times in life when you can’t, or even for just the ordinary everyday moments, don’t ever overlook the value in DOING GOOD FOR OTHERS.
Turns out, it helps them and it makes you happier.
Now that’s a win/win if you ask me. ;)
