The 4-letter F Word That Kills Your Dreams
(& what to do about it)
There’s a cemetery not far from where I live.
Whenever I go by it I wonder how many dreams are buried there, never having a chance to see the light of day because the soul that harbored them was too afraid to breathe them into life.
And the sad truth is, many of those dreams never had a chance because the person had this one question on repeat in their head:
“ What if I _________ ?”
You know that 4 letter F word, don’t you?
FAIL.
What if I fail?
It’s amazing how the fear of that one 4-letter F word can rob us of so much life, huh?
I’m no stranger to that fear, so please don’t think that the girl writing these words has all the answers.
What I do have though, is courage to question my fears.
It’s taken a long time, through a lot of soul-wresting & tears, and through countless conversations with everyday people from all around the world, but I’m learning that most of the time the fear of failure is nothing but a lie.
We hold back because we’re afraid we’ll look like an idiot in front of everyone else.
Can I be honest?
They’re not all watching us like we’d like to believe they are. Most people do not care.
And if they are out there, watching and waiting for us to fail, then that says more about them than us- and what a sad way for them to spend their lives…
Straight-up: I don’t think it’s realistic to believe that we can ever fully extinguish the fear of failure.
It’s ugly head will always find a way to pop up, like that stupid whack-a-mole carnival game.
BUT – I do think there are ways we can curb the negative effect this crazy fear can have on us.
One of the ways that’s been helpful for me to combat the fear of failure is by intentionally choosing my mindset around the idea.
If I already know I’ll always have setbacks and failures, how can I accept that reality and find ways to thrive through it?
I’ve decided that I’m a student of the setbacks.
I’m changing my question from “What if I fail?” to “What can I learn… even if I fail?”
Hey, look – I’ve done the research and I know the incredible benefits of being a lifelong learner.
I know how choosing to learn builds my resilience, ability to cope through stress, and my overall well-being.
I know that every time I learn something – even through failure – it builds my confidence that I can endure through the hard times and that I can do hard things.
And I know that no one has the power to choose my mindset for me but me.
SO!
I’m going to give it everything I’ve got to leverage the setbacks for my good.
I’m going to do my best to find ways to learn, even in the losses – to be a student of the setbacks.
-Maybe think about it this way:
Manure can be seen as waste – or – fertilizer.
It’s really your choice how you frame that in your mind.
I challenge you to steal my mindset on this one.
Become a student of the setbacks and leverage your experiences to bring benefits to your future.
Don’t let your big, bold, beautiful dreams go another day being buried by the fear of failure.
Give them a chance by unapologetically breathing life and hope into them, regardless of what lies fear wants to tell you.
